Her lips pursed tightly, and, for a moment, there was a flicker of something dangerous in her expression. But while many had called her a monster in her lifetime, Diva had that monster tightly reined in by the mask of a proper human woman. If there had been any between them, she would have taken the pause to pour a cup of tea as she filled the space with idle conversation.
But with no tea, her hands only clutched tightly at the fabric of her dress. "Ce n'est pas--" she started in French, but realizing she wasn't using the right language, she waved vaguely to reorient her thoughts. "It's not a problem. Sam isn't a part of my life anymore."
It was cold, but the hurt was still there. It was easier to just seal off that part of herself, to not think about what his second departure meant. Her eyes didn't turn to the floor, but were focused coolly on Sirius.
"You don't really understand, though, Sirius. You didn't know me before I met Sam, before I came to the Plane. If you did know, you wouldn't be worried at all about how I feel about Sam, because you wouldn't be talking to me right now. It's amazing that Sam cared enough at all, really."
Her eyes turned away as she stood gracefully. Diva stepped to the side of the room, taking a box off a shelf. Even though she had never been to this house before, it was familiar, like an old, forgotten dream. She opened it, and music started to play, which made her laugh.
"Sam is the only person I want to love me because he was the only person to ever see me as anything. Oh, my Chevalier loved me, in their way, but they never treated me like a person, not really. I was a goddess, a mother, an experiment...Really, anything they wanted me to be, and I didn't mind that at all until I met Sam. I wanted to be Sam's until the day he died, because that's the only way I could ever show how grateful I was for him to free me. I love Remus, but I can never love him the same way that I love--loved Sam. Remus is a kind, gentle person, and I'm sure he would have done that for me, but Sam was there first."
Diva traced her fingers over the box before she closed it, putting it back on the shelf. She remembered where she knew the tune, now. It was playing when she and Amshel watched Berlin burn, when she found James. She turned back to Sirius again with an odd smile on her face. It was perfect and pristine, but fake and doll-like in its perfection.
"I don't have any intentions. If Remus loves me, I'll always return it. I'm a simple person whose lived for a long time and seen and experienced a lot of terrible things. Ne, that's really all."
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But with no tea, her hands only clutched tightly at the fabric of her dress. "Ce n'est pas--" she started in French, but realizing she wasn't using the right language, she waved vaguely to reorient her thoughts. "It's not a problem. Sam isn't a part of my life anymore."
It was cold, but the hurt was still there. It was easier to just seal off that part of herself, to not think about what his second departure meant. Her eyes didn't turn to the floor, but were focused coolly on Sirius.
"You don't really understand, though, Sirius. You didn't know me before I met Sam, before I came to the Plane. If you did know, you wouldn't be worried at all about how I feel about Sam, because you wouldn't be talking to me right now. It's amazing that Sam cared enough at all, really."
Her eyes turned away as she stood gracefully. Diva stepped to the side of the room, taking a box off a shelf. Even though she had never been to this house before, it was familiar, like an old, forgotten dream. She opened it, and music started to play, which made her laugh.
"Sam is the only person I want to love me because he was the only person to ever see me as anything. Oh, my Chevalier loved me, in their way, but they never treated me like a person, not really. I was a goddess, a mother, an experiment...Really, anything they wanted me to be, and I didn't mind that at all until I met Sam. I wanted to be Sam's until the day he died, because that's the only way I could ever show how grateful I was for him to free me. I love Remus, but I can never love him the same way that I love--loved Sam. Remus is a kind, gentle person, and I'm sure he would have done that for me, but Sam was there first."
Diva traced her fingers over the box before she closed it, putting it back on the shelf. She remembered where she knew the tune, now. It was playing when she and Amshel watched Berlin burn, when she found James. She turned back to Sirius again with an odd smile on her face. It was perfect and pristine, but fake and doll-like in its perfection.
"I don't have any intentions. If Remus loves me, I'll always return it. I'm a simple person whose lived for a long time and seen and experienced a lot of terrible things. Ne, that's really all."